So for those of you who have been following along on Instagram & TikTok, I've recently opened up about what it is to be a plural system, especially in the working context of being a sorcerer. For me, the two things go hand in hand on some intrinsic level, as I seem to have inherited both spiritual tendencies from the indigenous sides of my mom's family & experienced really extreme trauma at a young age that shaped my brain.
In essence, a godawful childhood + running to spirit instead of people led to an experience where my brain functionally grew up around spook.
I can remember this being a part of my life - of "our" lives for basically as long as we can remember, and as a result of each of my parts having different lived experiences as a result of fragmentation, we also each explored different aspects of that magickal journey from altered perspectives. It wasn't until getting our diagnosis changed from CPTSD to Dissociative Identity Disorder that my parts could really begin collaborating with and among ourselves as a group of people rather than as one sole, unified monoconscious being....a thing that never really made sense, and quite earnestly made my life significantly harder.
Incidentally, that's also where spirits have come in for me...they took me, this child who was so afraid of literally everything, through the underworld of being and helped me to come to understand my parts. When I was just starting to figure out what it was to be plural, I turned to spirits like Akshobhya to find my way to myselves, to Amogasiddhi to help me sit with this sea of people inside myself without judgement, and to Vajrakilaya to help us present a unified front from what felt, at the time, like dissociated madness as a kind of fog of war.
Over time, these spirits started showing up for us in different ways, too.
For instance, Kali has been mom since we were about seven years old, back from around the time where we thought the Wolf we kept seeing in our head was a spirit animal. In recent years, she's become something of a spiritual advisor to each of us, holding space when we're scared, grieving, or worried about what kind of harm might come next. One of many, in fact, and I, WE love her to pieces.
She's been one of many that's showed up for us as a system, and its through teachings like hers that we've started to embrace that everything in the world has a purpose. All of the protectors, the fearful ones, the scared children, the coprocessing therapist types, and those who work towards liberation for each of us, too.
So my advice: see if you can find out what the pieces and parts of your mind want and need. You may or may not be plural like me, but I suspect learning to invite each of your parts to the table that you might interact with and heal them will help you to feel greater peace. I do, though it is at times deeply fucking scary.
With love,
-T
In essence, a godawful childhood + running to spirit instead of people led to an experience where my brain functionally grew up around spook.
I can remember this being a part of my life - of "our" lives for basically as long as we can remember, and as a result of each of my parts having different lived experiences as a result of fragmentation, we also each explored different aspects of that magickal journey from altered perspectives. It wasn't until getting our diagnosis changed from CPTSD to Dissociative Identity Disorder that my parts could really begin collaborating with and among ourselves as a group of people rather than as one sole, unified monoconscious being....a thing that never really made sense, and quite earnestly made my life significantly harder.
Incidentally, that's also where spirits have come in for me...they took me, this child who was so afraid of literally everything, through the underworld of being and helped me to come to understand my parts. When I was just starting to figure out what it was to be plural, I turned to spirits like Akshobhya to find my way to myselves, to Amogasiddhi to help me sit with this sea of people inside myself without judgement, and to Vajrakilaya to help us present a unified front from what felt, at the time, like dissociated madness as a kind of fog of war.
Over time, these spirits started showing up for us in different ways, too.
For instance, Kali has been mom since we were about seven years old, back from around the time where we thought the Wolf we kept seeing in our head was a spirit animal. In recent years, she's become something of a spiritual advisor to each of us, holding space when we're scared, grieving, or worried about what kind of harm might come next. One of many, in fact, and I, WE love her to pieces.
She's been one of many that's showed up for us as a system, and its through teachings like hers that we've started to embrace that everything in the world has a purpose. All of the protectors, the fearful ones, the scared children, the coprocessing therapist types, and those who work towards liberation for each of us, too.
So my advice: see if you can find out what the pieces and parts of your mind want and need. You may or may not be plural like me, but I suspect learning to invite each of your parts to the table that you might interact with and heal them will help you to feel greater peace. I do, though it is at times deeply fucking scary.
With love,
-T