This is yet another "helpful rant" post that is, at least partially, because of a post I logged into see on Facebook this morning. Lately, due to the things that have been occurring in my personal life, I have been exposed, repeatedly, to consequences that have come from both my own stupidity and lack of foresight, as well as from the stupidity and lack of foresight of others. That being the case, I have to admit that this particular post irked me a bit and bears discussion.
The post in question was innocuous, and stated, simply, "When you are at peace with yourself and love yourself, it is virtually impossible to be self-destructive."
Now, let's really take a look at that statement and think about it; while it is true that inner peace and self-love are useful towards negating self-destructive tendencies, they don't solve the problem entirely. Why is that?
Well, we, as human beings, are often short-sighted, impulsive, and rather unintelligent when it comes to things that we want. We often confuse need and want and act on various impulses as a result; those impulses can really get us into some sticky situations and, as a result, they are self-destructive though not caused by a lack of self-love or inner peace.
This may sit at odds with what is comfortable to believe, but when you sit down and really think about it, how many of us are ready and willing to be a mountain ascetic akin to Siddartha? That's not exactly a methodology that works well, nowadays.
Having said as much, there are really three actionable areas for us to focus upon:
1) Inner Peace: This is a noble goal and when we choose to become the change we want to see, we do actually see some remarkable changes in the world around us.
2) Self-Love: This one is tricky but is again, noble. Many of us are programmed to hate ourselves so self-hatred is an easy trap to fall into. Peacefulness can help here, but so too can therapy.
3) Thoughtfulness: This is the final building block that really needs to be utilized. If you're not sure how an impulsive act will affect you, divine! If you've got any magical ability, you can use it to see what's going on around you and turn your spirit-provided information into actionable information.
Step #3 is so very important that to pass over it is, ultimately, self-destructive because of the fact that inhibits your growth. Inner peace and self-love are worthy goals, though there are times where even that must manifest in a way that is not altogether pleasant.
Many times, in order to really love ourselves we have to get to the core of the supremely screwed up behaviors we exhibit and discover why. It requires total honesty with yourself and an ability to actually be with yourself. The pursuit of such a goal may, in fact, lead others to hate you as it did recently for me, but that's just one of many growing pains.
Sometimes those growing pains involve cutting dead weight out of your life, such as a person whose unsupportive of your spiritual goals or an individual whose a fiscal drain; it can be a painful process to go through, but it is ultimately useful.
Now that I've splashed these words upon this page, I will bring this note to a close: in all things, strive for balance. We're all screwed up in some form or another, and many times those in your immediate vicinity will be surprised by your desires, wants, or perceived needs; its important to balance those needs and wants as that's the key to peace of mind.
I do hope this has been helpful.