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Being properly gentle with yourself

1/6/2021

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More and more, I'm hearing from people that have these really harsh judgements for themselves and what they're doing day by day. It's something of a theme of late, and that's really no great surprise given how isolated we've become used to feeling thanks to the viral situation outside. Life has become rather more difficult, but that doesn't mean we need to suffer at our own hands. 

When we tell ourselves that we have to be Superman or Wonder Woman, what are we really setting ourselves up for? Are we trying to achieve the impossible, or do we feel like we're trying to make up for some real or imagined deficiency? We don't to be chronic overachievers to be heroes to the people in our lives... sometimes, just being there is enough. Sometimes all it takes is the ability to crack a smile and find a way to work through a difficult situation. 

Because where there is a will, there is often a way. If we set realistic challenges for ourselves and continually strive to be better than the person we were yesterday, we will invariably achieve our goals and enrich our lives in the process. We will eventually be able to look back and say with pride "hey, you know, I did good today", but this is only possible if we are willing to set aside impossible. Recognize that you're doing your best, and if you feel that you genuinely aren't doing your best, then make a point of trying to be better.

Nobody can realistically expect perfection of you, so how can you realistically expect perfection of yourself? The simple answer is that you can't. The only thing you can do is to strive each and everyday, so do try to do that. Make a point of improving the things that you dislike about your life, and do so in an incremental fashion. Don't expect that everything is going to be fixed by tomorrow, but acknowledge that you have it within your power to improve the day & it's quality. As you do this and make this change internally, you will start to enjoy your days more. It's a simple change, but a better life is made of simple changes that are made each and every day. 

And seriously, be gentle with yourselves. We've been through so much in the past nine months, and it's OK to have feelings about it. It's OK to realize that you can be more than you are, and you can recognize these things without judgment and without unnecessary, unproductive self-criticism. 

Said with love,
-Chris
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