A client of mine has had an interesting week, and not really in the best of ways. Her mother is finally at rest after years of nastiness & abuse, and that's brought any number of revelations to light. Among them is the temperament of the dead and the trouble they can cause for the living when push comes to shove.
There are plenty of texts written about how to process the passing of a loved one, but I've not found a whole lot of good information out there on how to deal with the hauntings they sometimes cause. I seek to address this here.
So let us say that your grandfather or grandmother wasn't the most pleasant of persons when they passed, and your life has suddenly become super awkward and difficult. How do you respond? Do you simply wave it off as being a result of your grief, or do you handle the trouble head-on knowing that they were mean-spirited in life?
My vote is for the latter, given the circumstances. Being taken advantage of by the dead is just as damning as having the living do so. Only when the offender is deceased, there are no established roads for the cultivation of peace beyond approaching a priest.
To start us off, if someone you love dies, make a point of attending the funeral and partaking of the processions in a respectful fashion. You don't need to like or love them to do so...just show up and be supportive. That handles most of the issues before they can become problems, and it generally makes for a safer state of affairs in the long run.
Afterwards, go home, shower, eat salt and bread, and meditate on the processions of the day. Say your goodbyes. mourn the person, but do not invite them into your home. That is a space for only the most trusted of associates, and if the dead want a space in your place of residence, you need to be certain that their intentions are pure beforehand.
If you don't know how to do so, consult a priest or sorcerer.
If, after this, there are problems that are not directly tied to grief (IE having trouble at work because you are unable to attend work) or mundane troubles, its time to start taking some steps to deal with the issues these spirits are causing. First and foremost, procure a raw egg. Rub it all over your body, being careful not to break the shell. As you do so, draw out the funk you're feeling and place it inside the egg.
Then, give it a funeral and bury it elsewhere, away from your home. If you've done this right, you should feel the ick in the palm of your hand after pulling the curse off of yourself and placing it into the egg. The funeral then seals the deal and sends the spirit packing.
If the issue persists, procure for yourself holy water at a local temple or church. Focus your intention of being let alone into it and add rue, orris root, and iron filings to the mixture. Bless it in the name of whatever deity you feel is holy, then anoint your forehead with the mixture. If prepared appropriately, you may feel a purge response...this can often be an indicator that the spirit and its effects are leaving the body.
A third, more forceful option requires you to leave your home with a container and coins. Travel to three graveyards and at each make a petition to the Gatekeeper of the place. Ask that he, she, or it assist you by empowering your work against the unquiet dead. Leave for them three pennies and take a handful of graveyard dirt. Place it in the container and repeat these steps.
When you've gathered grave dirt and empowerments from three graveyards, return home. When you get there, open the container of dirt and place within it a blessed talisman. Address the spirit by the name you feel it to be, and command it to enter the talisman within the dirt, citing that doing so is the sole means through which he or she can avoid judgement from the "Most High".
If the spirit abides, there should be a substantial change in the way the talisman feels in your possession. Rehome it at a church or sacred space, and ask that the beings who keep the locale safe provide the spirit with a comfortable afterlife.
Each of these are powerful means of handling the effects of the unpleasant dead. If these efforts fail, speak to a pro, as you'll need greater help.