For those who know me personally, its likely come up that I've had a pretty rough life at the onset. I talk about that elsewhere here on my blog, so I'm not just speaking as a disconnected voice on the hilltop. Rather, I've gotten to be as good at sorcery and understanding the ways through which healing can be achieved as a result of needing so much of it myself. If not for my skillset and the compassionate interventions of others at times in which I needed that care, I imagine my life would be quite a bit different from what it is today.
Recognizing this, I'm perhaps a bit more willing and able than most to speak on this directly, from an experiential point of view.
When a person experiences trauma that becomes impactful after-the-fact, it can sometimes manifest as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and the changes it brings into one's life are not pleasant. They don't really feel all that safe, and those who are so affected tend to relive that trauma over and over again, often in unrelated social situations. When the traumatic experiences generalize to that degree, even existing becomes a difficult thing to do because the innate desire is to stop anything different from happening.
Different = bad = scary = harmful in the PTSD-afflicted brain. If it feels like something negative, there's an internal instinct to automatically equate it with being negative.
If you experience this regularly, lean into it. Try to safely & comfortably experience new things and make new friends, contacts and colleagues. It might seem like a super small, insignificant step, but its a means through which you can bite off a small piece of the trauma and work through it.
The little victories that you experience in the beginning become bigger victories, and with additional confidence comes an awareness of additional competence. A shift that is both magical and wonderful in the same breath, as it changes the way you interact with the world.
As you change how you interact with the world, you change the way the world interacts with you. This then leads to additional gains, additional opportunities, and additional sustainability. It might sound a bit "woo" in this context, but there's a very literal shift that occurs in the intentional translation to victim > recovering individual > successful individual. We become the architects of our own universe, so while the pain is real, so too is the remedy.
Learning to make this work for you instead of against you can begin to change nigh on everything in your life for the better.
Start small, but intentionally start. Get out of your comfort zone and use that intentional experience of discomfort to then make yourself into that person you want to be. It has been my experience that those who had it rough tend to become more compassionate, more earnest, and all around better human beings, particularly as we work to heal ourselves and become active voices for others who are in or once were in similar circumstances.
I can heal great pains because I've known great pains. Food for thought.