In addition, this is an incredibly long post. I'd suggest grabbing a cup of coffee and settling in. This is meant to be material that you visit and revisit, as its something of a process.
Serpent Sorcery & Sex are deeply intertwined in most Asiatic contexts, as in modern esoteric circles, its very common to hear Kundalini this and Kundalini that, but the practices that are espoused are often more than a bit warped. People get overly attached to the act of sex and tend to miss the more sacred points of sexuality & how active practice can spring up as a part of these interactions.
Sex feels good, its enjoyable, and it grants us the ability to achieve release, but those are superficial experiences. We can utilize sex and sexuality as a means of creating deeper connections with our romantic partners and, in turn, sexual energies can be used to create and fuel alchemical change.
That act is, at its essence, Tantra.
You see, sexual energy has a charge to it, and that charge us neither good or bad. Its simply raw energy, and it is in turn indifferent. That energy is aimed by our thoughts, our fears, our desires, and our internal state. We can observe this in day to day life, as people become defined by their sexual desires both requited and unrequited, and it changes how we interact with each other by extension. There’s nothing objectively wrong with this, but it most certainly effects our sense of wellbeing and achievement.
When we see this occur, its an expression of that energy flowing along predefined channels, and not always is that beneficial. Sometimes it can create psychological and internal health problems, as the body reflects the changes that occur internally as a result of this untapped & unchanneled sexual energy.
On the flip side, we do have the ability to take this energy and repurpose it to create beneficial change instead of harmful, destructive change. If we work in unison with our romantic partners, it is possible to develop better health, better luck, rewire our minds, and achieve external aims...all through the act of having mindful sex. As we engage in this Tantra in a willful, dutiful, and appropriate fashion, we develop our spiritual bodies to allow this to occur.
Its a simple task, but it is not easy. Note the difference between simplicity and ease in this context.
At its very core, sex magic is a matter of harmony. To do this effectively, you require a willing romantic partner with a similar level of focus and energetic skill. He, she or they should be on-board, attentive, and willing to assume the appropriate role in this process. Both of you are going to be working to bring manifestations of your shared affections into this world.
The most mundane of these examples is a child, while the more magical elements of this work can cause other goals to be made manifest instead. It can be used to bring a focused energetic current bear, and that can be used to create an external response in turn.
Achieving the harmony required for this work to be successful requires trust, a deep mutual understanding, and more importantly, the same vision of the same goal. If there's a disconnect anywhere along the way, your results will be less cogent and more troubled than you would like. It is at this point where things get tricky, and this segues us into an extraordinarily important area of conversation: compatibility.
Let’s just get this out of the way: yes, there are spiritual compatibilities and incompatibilities, and there are sexual spiritual compatabilities and incompatibilities. You and your chosen partner might have incredibly steamy, passionate sex and might never see eye to eye here. Alternatively, you can have the most boring romantic partner in the world and be perfect for each other in the context of sex magic. There is no gold standard that works for everyone, so you and your partner must be able and willing to determine what works for the two of you.
If you and this person don’t mesh in this context, nothing good will come of it. Rather, it’s likely that the opposite will be true & you’ll create misery for you both, as much of what you can create together will be fraught with inconsistencies and disappointments. Neither of you will be able to create what the other seeks to achieve because of that basic disharmony present within the relationship.
As such, before engaging in sexual magic of any kind, it is important to test the harmony present in the relationship. If you you'd like to do so, start out by trying to make a meal together. If that turns out beautifully, then you might be able to make this work. If not, don’t proceed to the next step until such a time as you and they have worked on your shared relationship to a point where this is achievable.
If that meal turns out beautifully, try, as a couple, to hold the same thought in your minds while cooking another meal together. Choose something simple and concise like “our love is a beautiful thing.” & hold to it while you cook this meal. See if you can both do this to the end of that session, and then eat that meal together.
If that goes well & there are no disturbances, wonderful! Now, you can do the same thing again, but this time while making love. *If you are unsuccessful in this second attempt at making a meal together while holding a specific focus in mind, go no further!* - take this as an opportunity to engage in meditation together. Focus yourselves and hone your minds before coming back to this in a few months. You’ll want to continue doing this until you can successfully make this meal together and hold onto that thought, as the meal is a kind of symbolic magic unto itself. You and your spouse are commingling ingredients to make something, making this an equally sacred thing. Sex is the next step, and for that you wish to be amply prepared.
If you and your partner have navigated each hurdle with aplomb and neither of you have trust issues towards one another, then you can mirror this process during coitus. The focus to be held during intimacy is essentially “I am one with this person, and we as one create ________”, and this should be held deeply by both parties involved until climax is achieved. Preferably at the same time.
This process can then be built upon and made into an exciting activity for you and your spouse. Sex is meant to be mutually uplifting, and this is a means of making it wholly magical for all involved. If it sounds like an enormous amount of work, it is, but it’s also equally if not more worthwhile because the things you can create with it are incredible.
If done correctly, you’ll find yourselves losing track of time and having experiences which feel like they’ve lasted for hours in the span of half an hour. There will be times, too, where you and your partner are completely unaware of time’s passage on account of being enraptured by one another. It is meant to be blissful, and if handled properly, you’ll find that your relationship grows exponentially on account of these shared experiences of creation. These magical manifestations come from an act that should bring joy to all those involved, and the end result shows.
There is a flip side to this, however. A dark side, if you will: understanding that you can create immense joy through spiritually intimate acts like these, it is also logical that you can create deeply disturbing manifestations from botched attempts. This isn’t an attempt at puritanical sexual restriction or purple judgement, but rather a matter of cause and effect. For every blessing, there’s a curse, and handled incorrectly, sex magic can lead to a devastating array of troubles to be manifest.
Spiritual STDs are a thing, and you can inherit them by having a sexual encounter with the wrong person. Just as you can contract gonorrhea or chlamydia from a sexual partner, you can inherit bad luck, curses, jinxes, spiritual maladies, and invite troublesome spirits unto your home and body. Sometimes these things are easily curable, other times, the effects are more far-reaching.
You can, too, inherit boons from those you sleep with. If you are consistently romantically engaged with someone who is spiritually whole and in sincere love with you, it’s good for your heart, it’s good for your soul, and it’s good for your very existence. It makes you feel good to boot, and it’s a sacred, wonderful thing which should be cherished and explored.
This brings the head of the Serpent around to meet its tail. If you and your partner are matched and mesh, then these techniques that follow can be used to great effect, creating the means of interfacing such that sex magic can occur effectively.
1. Eye Contact:
This is an incredibly important place to start, as eye contact is indeed a bridge through which trust can be built. Staring deeply into your partner's eyes is a means of connecting with that person, and its a means of forcing both parties to drop their guards with one another.
Before engaging in any intimacy, simply sit together and gaze into each other's souls. If you wind up feeling naked, you're doing it right: embrace that sensation and let it become comfortable.
When it has become comfortable, use this eye contact during lovemaking to deepen that bond further.
2. Synchronized Breathing.
Before lovemaking, sit beside your partner while gazing into their eyes. Try to link up your breathing with them so that you and they inhale and exhale in synch with one another. Don't breathe too fast or too slow, as you're generating energy flow using this technique, and it connects you and this person together.
As you and your partner grow more deeply in tune with one another from this, you'll find that the remaining techniques become both easier and easier to benefit from. This is quite difficult for many, but it is powerful enough to be very useful. Particularly when engaging in healing works.
As you adapt this to lovemaking, you'll find that this particular technique adds to each of the other techniques listed here. More on that later.
3. Body Breathing.
This is, as it sounds, a ritual process by which you can take your partner into yourself. This step builds upon both elements of the Eye Gazing & Synchronized Breathing. These techniques teach you to pay attention to your partner and their movements, which in turn allows you to gain a sense of their intentions, their feelings, their desires, and the essences of their souls.
If ever you've heard of pore breathing, which is the task of breathing in an elemental energy through your pores (or doing the same in reverse), this is exactly the same concept, but applied intimately. You wish, here, to breathe your partner's essence into you. Let their essence fill you and your essence fill them, letting this shared holy ground allow you and they both to become close & without walls between you.
This removes any preconceived barriers and obstacles between you and your spouse, and its a wonderful tool for working through arguments as well.
This technique focuses on rooting yourself and your partner together through intention and muscle maneuvers. Typically, this is performed by heterosexual couples only. Ladies, if you are into the fairer sex, you can skip this technique. Homosexual men will have to adapt this slightly, but its definitely still doable.
This technique is performed during sex, typically with the woman on top of her male partner. After optimal penetration is achieved, both parties should tense their abdominal muscles. When this occurs in unison, both partners begin to activate their roots concurrently, allowing for greater connection to be achieved. This then leads to the man fueling the woman and the woman fueling the man, creating an energetic lemniscate.
To avoid injury, this should be done for a maximum of 10-15 seconds at first, and up to a minute by practiced hands. This works the hell out of your abs and builds an appetite, so be sure to plan around this.
This takes Body Breathing to another level entirely, as each of the prior steps are focused on creating an internal harmony while drinking deeply of your partner's well. In each, you've learned to connect with them, and now you'll be seeking to use this innate awareness of their patterns and flows to essentially mirror them. Find a middle ground between you and they both, and then try to -stay- there for extended periods of time.
Its more difficult than it sounds, but the reward is easily worth the difficulty of staying in that zone. This is one of the most important techniques shared here, so you would do well to study and apply it.
This aspect of connection is essentially root-locking for the upper body, and it is meant to be paired with root-locking for maximum effect. When you do this, keep your tongues together while root locking to increase the intensity of the connection between you and she. This can create incredibly moving emotional sensations and, in time, tends to unlock the pituitary gland's ability to help you more deeply interface with your partner.
7. Shared Experience.
Take all that you've learned to this point and try to use the experiences from those precious moments of intimacy to understand and apply this. This is meant to be a technique to strive for, and it is highly unlikely that you and your partner will achieve this at first. If you do, WONDERFUL, use it to benefit the both of you.
The goal is to "switch places" with your partner by sharing with them what you feel in response to all that they do. Attempt to open yourself to your cherished one and share with them your pleasure so that they can understand more intimately what they bring into your life.
This experience can be hugely disorienting, but as the confusion settles, you'll walk away with a deeper appreciation for your partner. In addition, this is somewhat self-serving, as you can learn more about how you please that person, and thus use this mutual understanding to improve your relationship further.
Each of the steps leading to this point has been about getting into the right space of mind with the express intention of performing sex magic with your spouse.
These exercises have each led into the means through which one can perform ritual during sex, as well as provided insights on how to go about raising and directing some of this energy. Once you've done the work, you get to play.
The tips above, when well-practiced, create a well-developed inner world and strength to the relationship that can then be used to develop changes in the outer world around you. Each of the above exercises acts as a means of strengthening the bond between the pair of you, which in turn modifies the way you and they interact with the world, causing magical change between you to become more effortless.
As such, tis is where your own creativity really comes into the mix. You and your partner can, after doing these exercises, then begin to apply your respective skills in a magical context while enjoying each other, which is where the real magic tends to start flowing. You and your partner can use sigils, orations, candle magic, and all manners of other magical tooling as you like.
I've seen folks get really creative with this, too, as its an open playing field. To start simple, let's say you and your spouse are having a rough week and want to end it by creating a beneficial connection betwixt you. During the act of coitus, use both the root-lock and tongue-lock techniques in an alternating fashion while focusing on the singular point that life WILL improve for you both, and hold this in mind until you and they climax. At the final moment, focus on that idea that life will improve, and if done correctly you and they will have blessed your life together using sex magic.
Alternatively, if your spouse is getting guff at work and you're looking to take some of the fire off of them, use the harmonized breathing technique during sex and then channel that raised energy into them. By doing this, you're filling this person's sphere with love and enjoyment, which creates a kind of shape-shifting effect that changes the way others entreat with them. This then takes some of the heat off at work and makes life a bit easier.
When I've done this in the past with my wife, there's always been a neat side-effect: everyone wants to give her great deals for the next couple of weeks. It makes things like the grocery bill a great deal less costly, and usually gets us invited to events and gatherings, as people appreciate that energy.
To offer a third suggested magical practice, you and your partner can use these techniques to dissolve blockages. This is typically best done by body breathing while working towards climax during coitus. The more vigorous the sex, the better, as if you and your partner can reach that apex at the same time and then release that energy towards whatever blockage needs to be resolved, the trouble will often resolve itself.
Of course, do be sure to get creative and experiment! Sex is something of a playground, but this ability to play with and experiment with your spouse in a ritual setting is an incredibly sacred thing. Treat it as such and then reap the rewards of doing so.
These tips and ideas come from my extensive experience in working this kind of magic, and as you delve into this work further, you'll find that it can change your life path to an astounding degree. Dig in, have fun, and BE SAFE!