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The Dangers of Working with the Pillars

10/5/2013

4 Comments

 
Picture
I received an email some time ago questioning the potential pitfalls of walking the paths I laid out when talking about working with the Shadow and Luminous Selves, as well as reconciling the two. I've debated on what to write here, and even whether or not it should be posted, for quite some time. Its a sensitive bit of work, to be sure, and its something that people, as a general rule, have to sort out for themselves due to the nature of the beast.

Even still, it seems appropriate to talk in further detail.  That said, to start, this is the email I sent to the individual in question:

Well, what we experience when going through and working with the benevolent and wrathful sides of ourselves is intensely personal. So too is this the case when we work to unite and reconcile the two. Some experience delusions of grandeur, extreme despair and depression, suicidal episodes, loss of jobs, friends abandoning them, or being cast out of their homes. Others simply experience strong, unexpected shifts from being lucky to extremely unlucky. I experienced radical changes in how I viewed people, things, locations, etc. and it changed how I interact with people.

Sometimes the changes are genuinely good, and other times the things that are competitively good to what could have happened are really just mixed blessings. I've seen folks attempt the work and become psychic, later losing themselves because they couldn't learn to control their abilities. I've seen folks become permanently haunted, as they've turned themselves into spirit magnets.

The reality of it all is almost deceptively simple: you're working to become a God when you do this, and spirits don't usually like competition.
As indicated in my email, posted above, when you do this sort of work, you're effectively looking to face reality from two diametrically opposed perspectives, then trying to reconcile the two and find Truth. Consider, for a moment, what that actually means....

You're looking to effectively combine Fire and Ice and learn to make something from it.  This is no small feat. Its a hell of a lot like going for a magical Big Bang....and of course, work like that is going to attract attention; some of it'll be good, some of it'll be bad, but rest assured, if you want to make some waves, that's one way to get that done. This isn't just some casual, simple, clean cut line of work that you can light a candle for and be done with...that's not the way this works.

When you do start down this path, you're in it for the long haul.  There aren't any oaths to consider, really, or even any pacts, save for the one that you are making with yourself.  If you get stopped up and scared, you're going to be fucked until you decide to make a change and either regress or push through.

There are very real dangers of delusion and the use of magical workings that will befuddle you and cause you to do stupid things.  You're going to be setting the wheels of fate in motion, and you can't just exclaim "stop the world, I wanna get off!" and be done...it doesn't work like that.

Even still, the rewards are crazy, unthinkable, and sometimes downright strange in a happy sort of way.  Serendipitous events occur like crazy, you can start getting some really interesting and quickly-manifesting results, and you will look at things differently. You're not going to be seeing the world with the same eyes anymore, but that is a blessing and a curse.

You're not going to be the same old [insert your name here] anymore.  Your relationships will change, and you will be put on a different path. This isn't something for the faint of heart, so if this is something you're drawn towards, proceed carefully.  If the burden gets to be too much, you will need outside help to get you back up on your own two feet, but even then, it'll be a matter of things being your responsibility.  You can't be the king or queen of your domain and expect autonomy from the servants, and this gets to be strikingly true when you're managing the denizens of both heaven and hell.

Best of luck.

Cordially,

SE
4 Comments
Mossel
7/22/2015 08:23:40 am

How did your views on things change, may I ask?

Reply
SorcerousEndeavors
7/23/2015 03:17:19 am

Mossel,

The easier question is likely "in what areas did [my] views stay the same?"

For me, the result has been different every time I've gone through the process of working with the pillars. There is always a shift in consciousness, but the end result changes depending on me.

This work, the first time, lead to me realizing that I was an alcoholic. I was drinking for the sake thereof, and what time I wasn't working for clients, I was in my own little world - usually sauced out of my mind. I had become my father, and on the Samhain of the year this was posted, I decided not to drink again.

I started putting more effort into my relationships, spent more time working through the issues I have, worked harder, and had a great deal more fun as a result. It changed the way I interacted with everyone around me, as I realized there were people who I only liked being around when I was tipsy. Later cut those folks out of my life entirely.

Ultimately, the process made me a better, stronger, and more loving human being. I recommend that folks put themselves through the fire if they're willing to see the world differently. It helped me and has continued helping me whenever I get stuck.

Hope this information is of use to you.
-SE

Reply
Mossel
7/23/2015 05:53:14 am

That made my jaw drop. I did not expect such an intimate answer.
I am stuck as well, and I am lacking for answers but I do not think the pillars are the way forward at this time.

Reply
SorcerousEndeavors
7/23/2015 09:18:48 am

Mossel,

I don't tend to hide much or keep anything back. When I do so, its because of oaths I have taken, and that typically applies to magical knowledge. Otherwise, I'm an open book.

The reality is that we're all human, and sometimes we get ourselves stuck, emotionally and otherwise. When that happens, the usual instinct is to retreat, when in fact the way out is the way forward.

Jarring yourself enough to get out of that stuck mindset isn't fun, but its a hell of a lot on the other side. ;)

Be well,
SE

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