When you're just stepping out into the practice of working with spirits, there's a rather large number of potential entities to choose from. From one grimoire to another, there are literally hundreds of spirits one could pick from; the list seems more or less endless. But you've got your needs and the things you want, so for the most part, people enter and exit this phase pretty readily.
When a person has exited that phase, then comes the demands phase wherein a person might approach that spirit for a boon. Sometimes it's a small thing, sometimes it's an enormous thing (very often the latter), and sometimes the spirit in question will decide to grant a person's request. When that happens easily, we're off to the races and it becomes almost second nature to form a relationship with the spirit in question because it feels relatively easy & fluid.
But what about when it's not so easy and fluid? What about the times in which you get no response and no attention? That's when and where people throw their arms up in disgust and discard magic to the rubbish bin. It's in times like these where a more careful, calm, and generous approach is needed.
It's important to think of spirits as living beings, as that's exactly what they are. They're not cold, disconnected, unliving machines for the most part, and they've got feelings, desires, likes & dislikes same as any one of us.
If you don't get that amazing response right off the bat, that's ok. You can take that as an opportunity to begin to build a relationship with the spirit. I generally suggest small offerings of incense or prayers being given in a schedule for a period of time (say, six months) as a means of opening the gates so that a closer connection might be formed.
These offerings can be given daily, every other day, weekly, or biweekly, and they should be given with regularity. By doing this, you're essentially telling the spirit that you're a kind, decent human being who would very much to get to know them and get their help. Over time, this can lead to some extraordinarily beneficial relationship, and they're often much, much stronger than any kind of one-off engagement.
As you do this, success us usually met with a kind of suffusion of that entity's energy into your life. Common motifs related to the spirit themselves tend to come up with great regularity without you seeking them out, and you may notice that weird social and professional situations begin to go your way when they really don't feel like they shouldn't.
This occurring is a sign of attention. They may not be agreeing to what you've asked of them initially, but they're still showing some manner of interest and that's a place to start. Continue this process in an ongoing fashion, and you'll find that this relationship will typically deepen of it's own accord. Most tend to develop the ability to hear or otherwise understand the spirit with whom they've been in close communication over the months and years they work with their newfound spirit friends, and when this occurs, one life can enrich another.
Humans don't share in the experiences of spirits, nor do we share in their experiences. We can share the sensations of the experiences themselves, on both sides of the divide, as a means of educating and elevating these entities as we too are educated and elevated. It's a beautiful system when it works, and it can lead to a fairly stellar understanding of magical ritual processes if one makes the right friends on the other side.
Something to think on. ;) - Enjoy your Tuesday.